it occurred to me that this whole experiment might not make too much sense to those who didn't hear my talk on sunday. so i'm going to summarize the thought process that led me to the point of my attempts and subsequent blog about them.
In the Sermon on the Mount, the Savior admonishes us all to "be ye therefore perfect" (matt. 5:48). Seems daunting, right?
And we all eventually come to the point where we realize that
we can't do it on our own. Or even really come close. When I was about 14, I realized I'd been sinning every day since my baptism, and would continue to make mistakes for the rest of my life. I was filled with bitter hopelessness. And then somehow, like
Alma, I remembered Jesus and
His atonement. I prayed "from the gall of bitterness," for Him to please accept me in spite of myself. I was filled with peace and love, knowing that His sacrifice would indeed cover my sins, and that He would give me part in
His perfection.
The part I'd missed before was the
covenant. Abraham was told, "Walk before me, and be thou perfect, and I will make my covenant between me and thee" (Gen. 17:1). Through the
covenant of baptism, Christ takes us on, with all our imperfections, weaknesses, and yes, even the sins we have yet to commit. And if we are true to our covenants, we have access to His grace, which is "sufficient for all." We take the
sacrament weekly to renew this covenant.
Without going too much into the etymology of the word perfect, the hebrew word used means complete, whole, having integrity.
I believe, and I'm sure there are other interpretations, that in asking us to be "perfect" He is asking us to be true to our covenants, so that we can come under the protective cover of His grace and atoning power. He asks us to make our actions consistent with our beliefs, to be honest in our prayers, and consistently trying to be better, and in all our trying, we should rely "wholly on the merits of him who is mighty to save" (2 Ne. 31:19). That's how we "
endure to the end."
Elder LeGrand Curtis gave a talk in 1995 called
"Perfection: A Daily Process," which intrigued me. He asks if we just wish we were righteous or if we really want it enough to forsake all the sins "that so easily beset" us. He also reminds us that where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. Good point, I thought.
Where is my treasure? Well it's definitely not my work :) But is it being on the internet, talking to friends on facebook or blogging? Is it alone time when I finally get away from everyone? or is it really with my family? With God? With things that, you know, matter?
And I got to thinking that most of the time, I'm on autopilot. I'm just sort of generally doing the best I can every day. But is that really my best? Probably could do more. I got this idea that if I could somehow to jolt myself into a different mode, I'd feel more peace, more secure in His grace, knowing that I really was relying on Him throughout each day. Thus the experiment. And the blog was more for myself at first, to have a place to be accountable. But then, it was so much fun, I thought I'd share :)
So, in trying to be "perfect," it was really more of an attempt to consciously "choose the better part," see my dependence on the Lord, be accountable for how I use my time, ask the Lord to give me patience with my kids instead of just yelling at them, ask Him to grant me a more forgiving heart, etc. etc.
When you try it for a day, you start to see that you make many many judgment calls about how you spend your time. You have certain habits, you do things a certain way, you are used to dealing with your family members on certain terms. And when you are doing something special, something unusual, like trying to have a "perfect" day, you can break out of that a little. I found it liberating.
Then I found it hard when after a couple of days I was back to my same self, not full of the Lord but full of myself again...I still think it's fun to do it for one day--you should all try it--but now I'm trying to take little chunks of life and analyze them.
The point of this blog is not to obsess over every little thing I'm not doing. I just put that up because that's how that day went. It was a lousy day, and I made lousy choices, and I'm okay with that.
The point of this blog is to give me a place to think about things that pass me by on normal days. And it's to share with each other, to feel that we're not alone, to learn from each other's wisdom.
The point of this blog is to remind myself that He is full of grace and truth, that I am bound to Christ by my covenants as He is bound to me, and that He fills us with love and makes us better than we could ever be without Him.
Like I said, come along. This is going to be fun.
is this how my kids will remember their childhoods?
